Thursday, 25 July 2013

There Is Always Calm.



In my journey to find out more about myself, I found art.

I have always had a close relationship with music, but art came alot later. I loved the process of creating art so much that I went to study it at university.

I enjoyed university and met many great mentors, thinkers, artists and teachers, but I found art at university less fun, art became something I had to ‘study’ and ‘analyse’…I began to understand that art could be anything and was everything. For me, studying art at university was like trying to hold a wriggling, forever changing shape, made of sand particles, in my hands.

I found studying and analysing art: Tricky. I didn’t enjoy the contrast of having ‘freedom to let the art exist’ whilst ‘creating the boundaries’ that are the ‘right’ boundaries to create a good piece of art. But my brain expanded and grew and I learnt so much! I am super grateful for my time at university discovering and learning from great minds and teachers.

At university I ended up questioning not just art but myself and my processes. I delved deeply into questions and myself, ugly and all. I pulled out and analysed ugly parts of myself during those years of study and much of what I created mirrored that and, because I was so emotionally linked to what I was creating, I ended up mostly feeling like I was a really crap person.

After university, I bumbled around for a couple of years; not creating any music or art at all (I think I was a little scared and scarred - art had held up a mirror and I was a little confused and fingers burnt!). For a while after gaining my Art degree at university the only creative thing I could tolerate was cooking. I was totally ‘arted out’.

At about the time kind relatives and friends had given up asking me if I’d ‘written any music’ or ‘done any painting’, I found a little tiny tiny weeny ray of light, a little beacon of hope; I realised I wasn’t happy. I realised I wanted to be happy again, I wanted, No I needed, the therapeutic relationship with art that I had had before. I decided that, even if I was around people making art that would be enough, that would be a starting point.

A lady I was childminding for had an art business and I popped the question: if she had a job vacancy (any job vacancy) I would be interested in doing whatever she needed, if only to work around art, artists and paint again.

She said ‘yes’ :D

So, here I am working within a lovely Art Community, in an art studio, loving my job, loving art again, starting to create again. Tea, singing loudly in the car and journaling my passions. Remembering growth is not always pretty and what appears to you as ‘ugly’ is usually a gateway to change.

Find me on YouTube and Instagram, I’d love to see you there.


When I create I am in my bliss; I am me, I am enough, i am free and I am happy :)




6 comments:

  1. Gracie, I was stifled by a university art degree too, and I love that we've both given it the finger in favour of whimsy. Love your work, girl!

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    1. Thank you Jay! It's awesome to hear you're enjoying arty freedom too! :)

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  2. I think you work is great. I also love the incredible Tam. I am finally learning faces from her classes. Will have to try the 30 day challenge.

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    1. Hi Cathe! Thank you :) Give the 30 day challenge a go!

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  3. I am new to all this. When I was younger an art teacher said I couldn't create art,
    I am not going to listen to that voice anymore!!!!!
    I am exploring and going to try various things!!!

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    1. Don't listen to that voice anymore Marilyn! ...or hear it and understand it for what it is: your negative inner grumbling critic and send yourself love and positive thoughts to compensate! Sending you love xx

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